The Kindness of Strangers

Unlike Blanche, in A Streetcar Named Desire, I have never really depended on the kindness of strangers. Before. Now, it seems I do. Quite a bit. I thought, before my plane touched down, that I would be greeted at the gate by a banner and loads of people looking for me. That was not to be. So there I was, shoving two immense rolling suitcases around the airport, not knowing where to go, or to whom I should announce my presence. That was the first time I encountered a certain breed of kindness found here in South Korea. A taxi driver helped me find an information booth to get the aid I needed. I found my party and all was well. No big deal, right? I agree, but that was just the beginning.

A few weeks later I was getting money out of the ATM machine at my bank (after hours), when the machine ate my card. I panicked. I needed money, and the bank was closed. One little “Oh no!” exclamation from me and the other eight people in the vestibule instantly rallied and made such a ruckus that the security guard went around back and retrieved my card.

Then there was the time I was meeting another American teacher downtown and got turned around and was lost. Before I could panic, an older lady called me over to her stand and gave me directions to the place I needed to be. She must have seen the abject horror on my face.

I could tell several more of these kinds of stories: The students who let me cut the line in front of them at a food stand after school; a neighbor, Mr. Kim, greeting me with a broad smile and ushering me into his store to meet his family and have a vitamin drink; the lady at the convenience store who FED me some sticky, sweet rice treat she made, and when I indicated they were good, she gave me a huge handful of them in a bag to take home (for free); the shop girl who walked me to an ATM and waited for me to come out of the vestibule so she could walk me back to familiar surroundings (yep, that happened).

And these instances are completely separate and apart from all of the freebies I get when I go shopping. I get handfuls of samples from just about everywhere I go. So many, in fact, I gave many of them away to my daughter on a recent visit home. Free pop at a restaurant? No problem. A whole cake just for delivering a good lesson in front of the principal? Yep.  It is truly amazing.

I wish I could say everyone is treated like this in South Korea, but apparently, that’s not the case. A Korean co-teacher of mine said she NEVER gets free stuff when she goes shopping. I was shocked. So then, what’s the deal, you ask? Good PR. South Korea wants people to speak kindly of her, it seems. Yes, when I go home, it is this country’s wish that I expound on all of the wonderful treatment I received at her hands. Now, I have to be honest, I’m appreciative. They could not give a crap and treat us foreigners like dirt. But it takes the shine off of the situation a bit. I mean, it’s all for show. It’s a sham of sorts, a ruse…mendacity (one of my favorite words), a mask. So what does the real Korea look like? You know, to a Korean? I have no clue. Not knowing the language kind of takes me out of the game. But I do know what I observe, and that is “business as usual”. Service workers are efficient and polite enough, but they’re not bending over backwards to help out their fellow countrymen and women. Then again, Koreans don’t typically require the kind of help I do. Depending on the store, Koreans MAY get a freebie here and there, but I sure as heck don’t see them being loaded down with samples and free treats. But I must say that I also don’t observe them being overtly rude to each other, either. I guess it’s just the way it goes here.

 To be truthful, it can be kind of embarrassing. I’ve tried to decline politely, but it doesn’t work. They tend to look genuinely hurt if you don’t accept. So what do I do? I take the bag, bow my head, say “Gam sa hap ni da” (thank you), and keep it moving. I mean, it’s free! Wouldn’t you do the same?

*Next week I’m going to start adding some pictures whenever I can. It’ll make things a bit more interesting, I think. Take care!